lame borning muffins

the lame-ass muffin

DISH 25

Nothing to see here . . . .please move along . . . .shows over folks.

That is how I feel about these stupid fucking muffins I was all excited about and bought all sorts of exotic and expensive flours for. I never used almond meal, almond oil or oat flour before.
Blah. They even look boring. It is true that I skipped the sprinkling of almond slivers it called for at the end, but still. . .

Do I even bother to post the recipe?
Sure, WTF:

Almond Muffins with Fig Center
Zest of 1 small lemon
1 1/2 cups almond meal (or finely crushed almonds plus 1 tsp flour)
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup oat flour (found at health food stores)
1/4 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
12 small figs, stemmed
1 small egg
1/4 cup clover honey
1 1/4 cups skim milk
1/8 cup almond (or toasted almond) oil
6 tbsp sliced almonds

Heat oven to 350°F. Combine first 9 ingredients in a bowl. Puree figs in a food processor until smooth and scrape into a small saucepan. Place over low to medium heat, stirring constantly, until puree gently boils, about 5 to 10 minutes. Let cool, then refrigerate. Whisk egg, honey, milk and oil in a bowl. Incorporate into flour mixture and blend on low with a hand mixer. Line a muffin tin with paper cups; fill each halfway with batter. Add 1 tbsp fig puree to center of each cup, then cover with a small spoonful of batter. Sprinkle almonds on top. Bake until golden brown, 12 to 15 minutes.

lame ass oozing muffin

The fig stayed in the center of exactly zero of my muffins. I'm going to freeze them, and feed them to my 10 month old son every time I'm in a pinch for breakfast.

Lame. I just realized it is from vomit worthy SELF rag. (Got mine today. It went right into the recycling).

Never again.

[boring] [bland] [lame] [SELF Magazine]